Do You Feel Ready?

What kind of question is that?

If you’ve ever sat an exam at any point in your life, you’ll have had to answer this question. It’s a universal attempt to make conversation with someone who can’t think about anything but their imminent nightmare. And it’s usually said with a half-joking, half-grimacing smile, because everybody already knows the answer: no, absolutely bloody not.

But instead of being honest, the reply is always a strained and panicked laugh followed by that classic line, Continue reading!


C’s Get Degrees

6th – 17th March

What’s the secret to passing veterinary exams? Hey, if I knew the answer to that question I’d be drinking more Jäger in the city and less Scotch on the sofa. You can’t pass vetmed and have a raging social life.

But every single semester culminates in an exam season, it’s the endpoint, the big finale. From the moment my bum hits the seat in the first lecture, my goal is set: pass the bleeding exams. And since it occupies my mind every second of every day, I wonder why I’ve never given you any insight. So here it is, here is how I muddle through. Continue reading!

Something to Ruminate Over

It sat in front of me like a giant empty potato sack – completely shapeless, and a uniform shade of boggy brown. My notes said that there would be four chambers: rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum. But when I looked between my brightly-coloured diagram and the deflated brown specimen, there was no resemblance whatsoever. And so with the familiar snap of rubber gloves, I began rummaging inside the great sack.

Somebody had made a large incision across the top, which meant I could hold up the edges and peer into the darkness. I really don’t have adjectives to describe the smell, but the internal surface was textured like AstroTurf, and divided into chambers by thick muscular bands. This must be the rumen.

The rumen was slimy and dark and difficult to navigate. I actually paused at one point to appreciate how every decision in my life had led to me groping around inside the preserved stomach of a dead cow. How utterly poetic. Continue Reading!

On Your Marks

So this is it, the final furlong – two more weeks and our first year at the Dick Vet will be over.

I’ll save my speech for the finale, there’s a significant chance that the next fortnight will see more fatalities than the Grand National. I may not be Rule the World, but I’m doing everything possible to stay with the field!

And, in contrast to the metaphor, that involves lots… and lots… of this:


It would be nice to think that this is an expression of deep intellectual thought, but I think it’s best to be honest: this is the face of someone who has no idea how to fit 800 hours of material into the next 7 days. Continue reading!